So I was perusing my old Digg comments when I came across one I particularly like. It's attached to Digg: If programming languages were religions. They'd left out FORTRAN.
Old Programmer: "Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to zombify thousands of computer is insignificant next to the power of FORTRAN."
Script Kiddie: "Don't try to frighten us with your programmer's ways, old man. Your sad devotion to that ancient computer language has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Spammer's hidden serv...**gack**
Old Programmer: "I find your lack of faith disturbing."